Frequently Asked Questions

1.  What are some other terms for abuse?

Controlling, battering, wife beating, bullying, power tripping, bulldozing, domineering

2.  What is relationship violence?

It is emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse of one partner by another in a relationship.  It occurs within both heterosexual and gay and lesbian relationships.

3.  How do I know if I’m being abused in a relationship?

Does your partner

  • ignore your feelings and wishes?  Call you names and put you down?
  • tease and ridicule you about things that are important to you?
  • not keep your secrets?
  • ignore or pretend not to hear you?
  • keep you away from your friends or put your friends down?
  • sulk when you don’t do what she/he wants?  threaten suicide?
  • show anger and use threats/violence to get his own way?
  • encourage or pressure you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable?
  • refuse to accept your limits about sexual activity?

4.  How do I know if my relationship is positive/healthy?

Do you…

  • listen to each other?
  • consider each other’s feelings and ideas?
  • enjoy spending time with each other?
  • respect, trust and support each other?
  • remember little things that are important to each other?
  • let the other be first sometimes?
  • value and take care of yourselves?
  • respect each other’s culture?

5.  How do I get help?

  • Talk to someone you trust.
  • Look in the front of the phone book for helpful resources in your community.
  • Look at the Help Links on this website.
  • In an emergency, call police-911.
  • Keep telling!  Keep asking!

Adapted from a RespectEd Violence & Abuse Prevention pamphlet.

6.  Why do men hurt the women they claim to love?

7.  Why don’t women leave men who abuse them?

8.  Can abusers change?