Frequently asked questions

1.  What are some other terms for abuse?

Controlling, battering, wife beating, bullying, power tripping, bulldozing, domineering, coercive control, intimate partner violence, domestic violence, family violence, relationship violence, intimate terrorism.

2.  What is relationship violence?

It is emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse of one partner by another in a relationship.  It occurs within both heterosexual and gay and lesbian relationships.

3.  How do I know if I’m being abused in a relationship?

Does your partner:

  • ignore your feelings and wishes?  Call you names and put you down?
  • tease and ridicule you about things that are important to you?
  • not keep your secrets?
  • ignore or pretend not to hear you?
  • keep you away from your friends or put your friends down?
  • sulk when you don’t do what she/he wants?  threaten suicide?
  • show anger and use threats/violence to get his own way?
  • encourage or pressure you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable?
  • refuse to accept your limits about sexual activity?

4.  How do I know if my relationship is positive/healthy?

Do you:

  • listen to each other?
  • consider each other’s feelings and ideas?
  • enjoy spending time with each other?
  • respect, trust and support each other?
  • remember little things that are important to each other?
  • let the other be first sometimes?
  • value and take care of yourselves?
  • respect each other’s culture?

5.  How do I get help?

  • Talk to someone you trust.
  • Look online for helpful resources in your community.
  • Look at the Help Links on this website.
  • In an emergency, call police-911.
  • Keep telling!  Keep asking!

Adapted from a RespectEd Violence & Abuse Prevention pamphlet.

6.  Why do men hurt the women they claim to love?

7.  Why don’t women leave men who abuse them?

8.  Can abusers change?